Speaking of sovereignty...

Seeing as how it seems to be the time for recalling and telling the stories of the prophetic journey that has brought us thus far, I really should do the other story justice and tell the complete version of it. This one has sovereignty written all over it in such mind-blowing ways, some days I wonder how it's even possible that it happened. I always tell people, though, that the reason God gave us such a clear, obvious sign was not because we're "so special", but rather because He knows how weak my frame is, how prone I am to discouragement, and how big of a sign I would need to keep me going on the tough days.

The background info is that for a few weeks previous to this story, Aaron and I had been discussing the idea of moving to New Zealand. To be honest, I had greeted the prospect with little positivity, and being the *Godly*, *submissive* wife that I am, I was being a bit stubborn, and the topic had become cause for a bit of tension between us. On a Wednesday night, we talked and agreed that we wouldn't speak of the possibility of moving again, until God clearly spoke. Thursday morning dawned, and I went to my weekly mom's group, while Aaron took a friend (who was visiting from New Zealand at the time) to the mall so he could buy some jeans and various things for his family. Important point #1: Aaron hates the mall. Goes once a year if we're lucky. Doesn't go near the mall for anything, except the goodwill of his heart to help his Kiwi friend. So he and his friend are standing in the jeans department of Dillard's, and Aaron hears a voice call out to him, a voice with a Kiwi accent. The conversation goes something like this:

Man: "Aaron Walsh?"
Aaron: Yes?
Man: My name is so-and-so. I heard you speak at a conference one time, and it changed my life. I'm a pharmaceutical salesmen from Bethlehem, Tauranga. I'm on my way to Paris, France. I'm in Kansas City for 12 hours and needed some stuff from the mall, so I took a bus and a taxi to get here......young man, isn't it time you returned to the land (of NZ) to build the house of the Lord?
Aaron: speechless.

Important point #2: No one flies through Kansas City on their way from New Zealand to Paris. It's not a "hub city" of any airline. Absolutely ridiculous.

Important point #3: This mall is at least 45 minutes from the airport....and there is a mall just up the road from the airport. Why this man went all the way to Overland Park is beyond me.

And of course there's the obvious "impossibility" that this man would have "just happened" to be in the same department of the same store as Aaron and his friend at the exact same time. I mean, can we say, "Impossible"?! I think it's a profound statement of the obvious when I say that only God could have ordained that one; He was obviously speaking.

So Aaron came home that day an told me the story, and at that time in my heart, I said yes. Although I've admittedly kicked and screamed my share between then and now, something in my heart surrendered at that moment. I knew that God had spoken. And who can argue with that?!

And so on the days when I'm prone to argue, the Lord in His kindness reminds me of this story, and as Job I "put my hand to my mouth, put my mouth to the dust, and I bow down". And I say yes, all over again.

Link

Per the request of one of my readers, I found the post in which I told the "sheep and snakes" story. If you have a minute, click on the link and have a read. It's a great story.

Remembering

Yesterday marked 3 years since we moved to New Zealand. As I think back to those first few days, weeks, and months here in our new home, I realize just how far I/we have come and how kind God has been to me/us. It sure hasn't been an easy road; it's had its ups and its downs, but we've made it this far, and it was worth it.

Certain circumstances in the last few days have caused me to recall my own personal journey and prophetic history that has brought me to the place where I am now. And whenever the Lord reminds me of my call to New Zealand, I find that it gives me fresh courage every single time. It doesn't matter how many times I've remembered or told the story of the sheep and the snakes and that "perfect" place that I "want to go to someday"; every single time I feel the sovereignty and perfect leadership of God over my life, and it makes my heart rest. (Long-time readers of this blog may remember that story. I'll gladly tell it again for those who have no idea what I'm talking about). Likewise, it doesn't matter how many times I've remembered or told the story of the pharmaceutical salesman from Bethlehem, Tauranga on his way to Paris, France who ran into Aaron in the middle of Oak Park Mall in Overland Park, KS and asked (yea, prophesied) if it was time for us to return to NZ to build the house of the Lord.....the day after Aaron and I talked about it and laid it before the Lord and asked Him to speak. Every single time I feel the sovereignty and perfect leadership of God over my life, and it makes my heart rest.

In fact, the real reason I love telling those stories isn't for the sake of communicating my history in God to whoever happens to be listening. It's because as I hear myself tell the story, I gain courage all over again to say yes to God and to say yes to our season here in New Zealand. It makes me fall in love with Him all over again, because I encounter yet again His kindness and goodness and His amazing care for us that He knows every detail and chooses to speak in the most profound ways. I realize yet again that He knows me, He knows my name and my future and He knows the best ways to speak to my heart that will not only get my attention, but also capture my affection. I realize yet again how good He is and how worthy He is of my trust.

And so here we are, on the brink of our 4th year in this land, and I carry with me every ounce of courage He has graciously given in every season leading up to this one. The road ahead may not be easy; it will have its ups and its downs, but I know we will make it, and it will be worth it.

To the beach

On a whim, the whole family decided to head to the beach for a couple hours yesterday. It was fun to go down and enjoy the sun and the sand and watch the 'surf life saving' competition. It's not very often that we go to the beach as a family, but we all enjoyed it. I suppose when you live this close to such a beautiful beach, it's a crime not to go, at least once a season.

Today Aaron and I were in a meeting literally all day; then I had an appointment with my midwife, and now Taylor is in bed and I get a bit of time to relax and prepare for our day tomorrow. Might be an early night, though ~ we're both feeling pretty tired at the end of a long day.

Enjoying the music

This weekend is the annual Mill's Reef Winery's "Stars Under the Stars" outdoor concert. Seeing as how the winery is just next door to our house, we get all the benefits of the musical festivities without the $35 price tag. So we ate dinner outside tonight, and have been enjoying the tunes ever since. It's one of the funnest weekends of summer, in my opinion. Nothin' like a little live music to create the festive, relaxed holiday mood that's indicative of New Zealand summer.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

After coming home from church and eating lunch, it was rest time for Taylor ~ and nap time for Mommy! For some reason I was exhausted this afternoon, as was confirmed by my almost-two-hour-nap. Can't remember the last time I had a nap that long, but I suppose I must have needed it. Nevermind the fact that it's just past 10pm and I'm not too terribly tired yet. Hopefully the tiredness will strike soon and a good night of sleep will follow!

Breakfast by the beach

Last night Taylor spent the night with Aunt Nicky and Nana and Grandad, so this morning my hubby took me out to breakfast at a yummy cafe right on the main beach at the Mount. It was a beautiful morning ~ not a cloud in the sky and deep blue sea water. Two huge cruise ships had just arrived earlier in the morning, so there were lots of people out and about. It's been ages since I've been to the Mount/near the beach, and I was reminded again what a beautiful place we live in. It was nice to get out and actually enjoy it, seeing as how we live only 15 minutes from one of the most beautiful beaches in NZ!

Thinking....

Although I've felt pretty good today, I've had enough bad days this pregnancy that have got me thinking a lot recently about moms who are chronically ill. On the days that I feel pretty lousy, I can't help but to think of moms who have it way, way worse than a bit of passing fatigue or nausea.

Like, take for example, my friend Karli. I don't know Karli extremely well, but I know her well enough to know that she lives every single day in extreme chronic pain, yet at the same time she continually lays her life down as a wife and a mom of an almost 2-yr old boy. All with a remarkable attitude. Amazing.

Closer to home are thoughts of my own mom. Readers of this blog may or may not know that my mom fought breast cancer for 4 1/2 years when I was a child, and went to be with Jesus when she was 41. I was 9. Because I lived with her every day of my life until then, I saw and experienced firsthand the dedication and selflessness that characterized her short life. She homeschooled my brother and I (often from her bedside), cooked our family a homemade dinner every night, taught us to know and love Jesus, taught me how to cook and how to sew, went all-out for birthdays and holidays to create memories and traditions that would never be forgotten, and I could go on and on. Of course, as a child I never understood the amount of pain she lived in every day as she did all these things, but I began to understand more and more as I grew older. Now that I'm a mom myself, I begin to understand on a whole new level and appreciate all the more who she was and all she did for our family. She was truly a remarkable woman.

These women and the many like them are my heroes. Though they may not realize it, they have painted a picture with their lives of true meekness, humility, and servanthood for many to emulate. I have much to learn from these ones: how to serve even when it hurts. How to honor others' needs above my own. How to give in secret when no one is watching ~ or when no one realizes the extent of sacrifice required to give. I'm grateful for incredible comerades who provoke me to continue on in this journey called 'laying down your life'. Good thing there's lots of grace from Heaven to help along the way.

Oh, happy day!!

I'm coming home!!

It's probably no secret that I've been missing home lately ~ a bit more than usual. Aaron and I have had a few conversations recently in which we both agreed it would be wonderful for me to have the opportunity to visit home for a short time before this baby is born. I didn't have a clue how it would be possible, but I carried the prayer and desire in my heart before the Lord. Just this week, on a pure whim, I checked out the Air New Zealand website, only to discover that they're having an amazing sale on now. To make a very long story short, the Lord intervened on many different fronts, each situation combining together, enabling both Taylor and I to currently be holding tickets home in April! It was totally the Lord how it all worked out. We'll do both Kansas City and Connecticut ~ and I am so very excited to be in both places. My heart longs to be at home in Connecticut as well as to connect with dear family and friends in KC. I am so grateful first of all to the Lord for hearing the cry of my heart and answering, secondly to my husband for his encouragement and willingness to send us off, and also to the precious ones who have made this whole trip possible. Oh, thank you!

Right now, I feel like the most loved young woman on the earth; it really is an amazing thing to know that Heaven has heard and delighted to answer the weak prayer of a weak heart. Oh, He loves me!

And for all you Kansas-Citians and Connecticut-ites, Taylor and I can't wait to see you in April!!

My latest revelation

Pregnancy is an expression of the fasted lifestyle. Like unto a 9 month fast. I had a deeply encouraging conversation today with one of my dearest friends from home. We were discussing the weakness that pregnancy produces: both the weakness of body as well as the weakness of emotions. She made an interesting comment ~ that hormones have the tendency to bring to the surface what is lying dormant within. Hmmm. Sounds alot to me like fasting. Quite a scary thought, seeing as how often that which comes to the surface is sin: grumpiness and attitudes and laziness and such. I thought that the hormones were an explanation for all that, but maybe in reality that's what's been inside all along, but hiding. Ouch.

But the (encouraging) flip side of the same concept is that sometimes that which comes to the surface are emotions which need to be realized; tears which need to be cried; prayers which need to be prayed, movements of the heart which need to be lifted to God. And were it not for a bit of pressure (i.e. hormones), those emotions and prayers and tears and movements of the heart would remain hidden, quiet, and un-spoken. And herein presents the opportunity for the genuine crying out to God for help out of the place of true weakness and brokenness. The Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know" sort of crying out to God, which very well may not happen if it weren't for a place of weakness to draw that cry out.

I had always thought that hormones had a way of distorting reality. Which sometimes I do think definitely happens. But perhaps this happens much less of the time than I originally thought. It takes wisdom and discernment to know when to ask the Lord to silence lies and reveal truth, and when to ask the Lord for grace to deal with the truth that has been revealed.

Gone Swimming

Taylor has had her first swimming lessons this week ~ and she's done great! Her biggest accomplishment has probably been learning how to go under, but she's also practiced her kicking, jumping in (from sitting on the side ~ into her teacher's arms), and blowing lots of bubbles in the water. And thanks to our incredibly generous neighbors who have offered us the use of their pool, Taylor and I went swimming after her lesson. It was incredibly refreshing, and Taylor also got to practice a lot of what she's been learning this week. It was lots of fun for us both; nothin' like a good swim on a hot day.

The pleasure of dill pickles

Whether its the sheer enjoyment of the fact that I can now buy them here, or those pregnancy hormones again, I'm not entirely sure. But can I just say that dill pickles have nver tasted so good in my whole life?!

Sea Breezes

It's a lovely night. The air is cool, the windows are open, and the most delicious sea breeze is blowing through. The smell of the sea air is so satisfying; it smells like we literally live across the street from the ocean.

That scent, combined with the fresh smell of my furniture polish (reminding me that my living room is sparkling clean), makes relaxing on the couch and reading Revelation the perfect end to the day.

For the first time in a long time, I am content. Granted, the only reason I have felt discontent recently (as in, the last 3 months) is due solely to the surge of hormones in my body which have wreaked havoc on my emotions and my perceptions and caused me to feel quite moody/unstable/overwhelmed/emotional/fill in the blank. So tonight I am enjoying for the first time in a long time what seems to be the re-appearing of myself again. And I sure hope that the "me" that I know chooses to hang around for a good while now. Pregnancy sure is a strange thing. Although I haven't been as sick this time as I was with Taylor, this has definitely been a harder pregnancy so far. I'm hoping that days like these will become more the norm as I get farther into the supposedly-glorious 2nd trimester.

I could go on and on. But I'll spare you from reading and spare myself from writing more, and I'll now get back to Revelation. It's much more profitable reading than my own writing is.