Life Down Under

Too many balls to juggle. Too many batons to balance.

It's 10pm. It feels like it's midnight. I'm tired.

The last several days have been good, but long. I'm feeling caught in the balancing act of loving Jesus well, loving my husband well, loving our daughter well, and leading a ministry well. It seems like most days, one of the four suffers. I hate that feeling of realization that one of those all-important proverbial "balls" has been dropped. Only to remember that there are 5 other important ones that need to be juggled as well. Sometimes I feel like I'm always bound to let someone down - it's just a matter of who.

Meanwhile, in the midst of trying to juggle it all, I want to learn to do it with a heart at rest - not a heart that is striving or stressed or anxious. For if my heart isn't at rest (that is, living in peace that is a result of communion with the Holy Spirit) the inner rhythm of my spirit will be off, and it will affect all I put my hand to. The result? The balls will drop, the batons will tumble, and I won't be able to do anything well.

Sounds like my aim should be to grow in how I carry my heart, not necessairily to grow in my ability to balance all the aspects of life.